That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Randomize