Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
