I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
She has the best kind of daddy issues
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize