I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
