I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
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