what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Randomize
