I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
