Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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