Kiss
Puke
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
