Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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