need another drink. this is the easiest way
Midget sex pt 2 tonight
yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
