You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
we have pet lesbian snakes
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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