I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize
