Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
honey bunches of taint.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
