you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
