R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
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