She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
