And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
