He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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