someone get that fucking seahorse.
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
how drunk are you?
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