I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
