I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
