It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
