why didn't you poke me back
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
