just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Randomize
