i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
It's shark week go big or go home
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Randomize
