just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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