some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Randomize
