No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
