It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Randomize
