He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Randomize