How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Randomize
