That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
