omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
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