If that was your dad, he is hot
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
