Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Randomize
