at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
