I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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