i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
This is my life. Enjoy the view
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
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