I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Randomize
