turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize