A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
