I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
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