I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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