Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Randomize
