I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
This is my life. Enjoy the view
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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