i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
Randomize
