Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
