Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
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