I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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