It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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