Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
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