I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
