ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
I am available for nakedness
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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