Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
