Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
