the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
jump out the window naked night went bad
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
