end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
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