He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Dicks are not precious.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Randomize
