Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize