There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
