His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
