you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
