How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
farters have to be the big spoon...
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
Randomize
