hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
