He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize
