I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
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