He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
