Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Randomize
