you guys were way drunker than both of me
Acid is not a monday night drug
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Randomize
