That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
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