My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
Your dad touched me again.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
im having a threesome with these popsicles
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
