your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
