I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
Even my vagina gasped.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Randomize
