small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
